He ask me to marry him

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He comes like a lightning. He comes out of nowhere and swayed me. Without knocking, he just broke into my heart.

I know he since I was in college but I barely talk to him.  But his way just feel so special that I feel that I am special to him. We met once to talk about it, I’m not feeling bad. So we continue to talk by phone and texting for weeks and months.

And he ask me to marry him. All the feelings come to me at once. What should I say to him? Should I say yes? Or no?

He ask me, a 23 years old girl, to get married. Despite the happiness, I feel scared. I worry about my future. Can I become a good wife? Am I good enough to him? Is he the one that Allah destined to be my husband? All the bad thoughts keep coming. So I said, No. I said NO.

Oh my God, Ya Allah. Now I think about it, I feel so guilty. I was so immature back then. I don’t trust Allah enough to decide my step. I didn’t ask Allah about what should I do even after I ask him why he choose me and said that I appear on his dream after taking Istikharah prayer.

That’s my first proposal. He is the first one to propose to me. And me, just said No because I was afraid.

Ya Allah, please forgive my sin. Bless me with the one who you choose to be my spouse soon, the one who will lead me, the one who will make my Dunya and my Akhirah better, the one who will make me closer to You.

Aamiin Aamiin Ya Rabbal Al Aamiin

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